OLD FRIENDS, NEW FRIENDS ... THE WORTH OF THE SOUL OF A FRIENDSHIP

Let’s talk!  “FRIENDS”

        I’m certain we have all had “best friends” and some have come and gone and then, there are those which have been sharing their lives and hearts with us for too many years to  keep  count of!  It’s those friendships I easily can say,  “where you end, I begin,” It’s a seamless  beautiful piece of fabric!  Another way I refer and prefer to define it is, a “spiritual connection”.  A favorite quotation sums my feeling of this phenomenon comes to mind.  “One of the reasons we love each other in the Kingdom is that our friendships are not friendships of initiation at all, but are, instead, friendships of resumption. “ (Elder Neal A. Maxwell "'Brim with Joy,'" p. 1.)

  In the beautiful musical play “The Sound of Music” there’s this little obscure tune most probably do not recall, or have paid attention to, to me, it’s a gem!  Allow me to share its sweet lyrics as a prelude to my topic.

Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I had a miserable youth
But somewhere in my wicked miserable past
There must have been a moment of truth
For here you are standing there loving me
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good
Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good.

 

This is exactly how I feel.  My friendships were and have been God-sent. I’m sure I did nothing to earn the incompatible gift of friendships that have enriched my life beyond explanation!  So,, whatever I did or didn’t do, the Lord, in His tender mercies, and you have made it to my doorstep. 

       I can bet none or few of us have sat down to weigh out the great responsibility friendship bears nor do we ever keep a tally on what has kept that singular blessing and individual affinity still beautiful and so alive. 

I believe many friendships have an automatic way of shifting into gear and starts the process of developing and driving it from one stage to the next, like a little miracle!  I’ve found forcing a friendship never produces benefits of any kind. Metaphorically speaking, it’s seed. We are the seed, Love, the soil, and Joy, the fruit..  It has the endless potential of becoming a glorious firmly rooted tree!

        I  value my friendships on a scale most have said, “Debbie, that’s a heavenly measurement viewpoint, a little too idealistic.”  I can see where they are coming from. I respect it. My mama never had a “best friend” and it puzzled her that I could have several dear, marvelous Best FRIENDS.

My Number One Counselor, Jesus said in essence, that we shouldn’t forget  “the weightier matters” of life.  But, I’ve often asked myself as I contemplate LIFE and find that my head, emotions and core cannot separate this life from Eternity or relationships.   It reminds me of the touching parable about this farmer who finds a most precious pearl and sold all he had to possess it. 

   I ask myself how much would I be willing to invest in a friendship that feels too priceless to lose. Does it really matter how long that person stays and/or is their contribution of self too valuable to misplace or possibly mistreat and neglect?  We certainly can’t always judge all the possibilities involved or if the fruit will be sweet or bitter. However, I can judge what I  have to offer and leave for them to discover my few mites of worth.  

Eternity is a long time, and the closer we all are getting nearer to it, the deeper my prayers and hopes are that these friendships that have been older than the Redwoods, [for, in my faith, and as aforementioned,  “friendships of resumption,”  will all meet me at that our pre-mortal Home. 

   My Susie Homemaker-of-a sister , Tanya Marie, has a beautiful gift and talent for scrap-booking, and more often than not, she’ll ask, “hey Deb, what’s this person’s name, what year was this on?”  So, as the saying goes, an elephant never forgets, my memory can usually turn the yellowing pages of memory and put a name, date and incident to the picture.  We’re a good team, my beautiful sister and I.  Imagine this one, I can still remember rocking my sister in her beautifully handmade basinet by Grandma and watching how cherub her face was!  I remember my first crush at 6, Billy Bohn. Gosh, he was just too cute to miss! My first girlfriend who’s still around and makes everything around her blister with her bright light, Ines Hernandez. My best girlfriend neighbor who spent hours playing with me Rosa Iglesia. Then, Rhonda, totally Scottish with all that entails! Tommy, the bully of the neighborhood. I could go on but you get a snapshot of what I mean.  They all added years to my life as to learning how to be a friend and cherish.

   The teen years brought fewer friendships since after my tracheotomy I was a liability to the regular school system. I had my personal tutor and that minimized my circle of friends but, it also taught me how to sift what was who I wanted in my life.  The association of Church members slowly widened my choices.  These arrived at crucial times and half of all remained steady, true, loyal and producing fruit.  Some of these I mention as in honor. There was and is, Effy, Graciela, Angel, [my spirit brother], Dee-Dee, Robert, Shirley, Marisol, Max, Pam, Carol, Dawn, Gina, Rosie, and, and endless array of missionaries from the Church that continue to visit, share and enlarge the limbs of our friendship tree.

      I’ve been highly blessed with new, vivacious and brilliant stars of friends in my small piece of sky; they are my angels of all good things on earth!  We can definitely gossip from A to Z!  Starting with Belle, my sidekick! Ana Milena, Angelica, Julie, Emily, Jamie, Kelly, Jessica, Gisela, Carmen, several Debbie’s (all spelled differently), Kaylene, Terry, Karen, Maximiliano, Dana, Ron, Robert Weger,Susan, The Frosts and all their wonderful families! Well, I can literally go down the alphabet and have several names for each letter!  Thank goodness there’s only twenty-six letters to the alphabet! :)

   On this journey of friendships, there have been some noxious weeds, nevertheless, they’ve also left their unique mark on my soul.  I hope someday we, too, will run toward each other and have a good laugh at our immaturity.

    Though Facebook has had some fairly rotten reviews as of late, I’ve found it has opened new doors to meeting some beautiful souls, or they’ve found me.  Each have turned out to be pearls of great price!  Including, making connection with older friends that have walked different paths in life and I’ve lost contact with.  However, baby green shafts have been grafted in my hearty friendship tree recently such as Darla, Sheila, Jenny, Nivea,  Josephine, Carmella, Jean (Canadian French}, a roster of names from several countries! A gorgeous growing tree!

I wish I could write all their names and gather you all under one magnificent mansion and have you all meet!  What a banquet of love and happiness that would be!

   We find three pearls in the Bible about friendship  and the worth of the soul of true friendship is.       

Proverbs 27:10  Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.

Proverbs 6:3  Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art come into the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend.

Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

I can and do testify that I’ve experienced each of these.  The worth of the soul of a friendship is far weightier than I can properly make mention of in a few lines.  But, if I may be so bold, may I share a few ways to nurture a friendship and most any type of relationship with you.

1. Have a welcoming heart and mind to truly get to know the individual.

2. Be genuine!  No masks, facades are a waste and always backfire.

3. Listen.  Create a firm bridge of listening to what’s behind the words.

4. Ask questions. We can’t open up without asking vital questions.

5. Make your Self their greatest gift.  Things never compensate for what my grandma used to call “A Dr. visit.”  Meaning the lack of time and self isn’t going to make it up.

6. Respect and Politeness are buffers!

7. Show interest in their lives. Share your interests. You’d be amazed at what an ice breaker this can be.

8. Pray for them.  No specific need may be in order.  However, praying strengthens that bridge.

9. REMEMBER their special days; celebrate with them in some way despite the miles!  This has been a magic wand for me.  It’s a unique way of service as is your prayers.

10. Forgive and let it go! The hurt and problem may be very necessary to discuss but, after that process, leave it fly up, up and away!  You already know the whys to forgiving. Right? I find it so humbling that never once in the scriptures does Jesus bring up His traitor’s name or all the wrongs He endured with His mouth closed! That’s forgiveness!

        Friendship entails a heavy responsibility because we are literally touching sacred ground—the soul of that one and only creation of God that can never be duplicated!  There’ll never be another like your friend! Or YOU! We tread softly, kindly and respectfully because some wounds are irreparable.

      Hopefully, my friends each know that they are important, cherished, irreplaceable, wonderful, and LOVED beyond earthly measure.  If and when I’ve failed to be my best Self, or not been there for them, I pray they’ve forgiven and keep forgiving me without forsaking me. I humbly ask their forgiveness here and now.

          There’s really no adequate way in which I can conclude this entry besides saying THANK YOU to all for your gift of friendship.  And, with my Savior’s words that crown all else!

John 15:13  Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.